Not really. I don’t give a shit about food except that it feed me and be as free as possible of chemicals, toxins, hormones and antibiotics. I’ve noticed that food is a fetish for a lot of people. And so I’m going to pander a little bit. Here’s a recipe or two to make you think of me even when you don’t want to. Seriously. Because I guess that’s what food does for some people: it makes them obsessive. This is for you.
A warning: none of these recipes will be gluten-free, even though that’s super trendy right now. I’m going to go with the gluten and let someone else capitalize on that fever.
First things first: the secret ingredient to Sloppy Joe’s is ketchup. Second, when you make chocolate chip cookies, add a little extra butter and a lot of extra vanilla and as much chocolate as the dough can bear. Finally, if you have to make pumpkin pie, for god’s sake, don’t use the shit from a can. Cook a pumpkin. That’s what pumpkin tastes like. Clear?